KonoSuba - God Bless This Cold Creep!
by TalesKhan
Summary: A random boy with a passion for cold stuff encountered his end by letting his love do it. Now in the afterlife he met a goddess that offered him to be reborn on a parallel world instead of normally going straight to heaven. With a chance to make his passion grow more, he quickly accepted the offer, without any regrets.
1. The first, but short, chapter!

_**God Bless This Cold Creep!**  
_

 _ **"Oh yes! Low Temperature! This is SOOOO grrrrrreat!"**_

 _Hello, I welcome you, to this boy's house._

 _"What's his name?" You're probably asking._

 _And to answer that question of yours: "His name is, Jin Yuhi"._

 ** _"And let's not talk about these wonderful mints! MMMHHH! So Icy! Ahahaha!"_**

 _I am fully aware of what type of human I'm narrating for, so, without you're permission, I shall commence his up-coming tragedy.  
_

 _Jin Yuhi was a simple boy with a great passion to cold stuff, his passion always made him dream of living in a city with the lowest temperature he could have imagined._

 _But for being a lover of low temperature, he always wears a sleeveless T-shirt and very short shorts that aren't that short to avoid people's attention.  
_

 _Even if our boy's skin is always in contact with the lowest temperature his body can handle without wearing any clothes (4°C), he didn't felt anything but pleasure, I do not know the answer of how he's still alive, but I guess, that every human has a limit._

 _Yet, or sleeveless human has a skin which is slightly soft if you try to touch it, and his hair? His hairstyle can easily increase the jealousy of everyone who sees it... Slightly long white hair that almost covers one of his eyebrows (the right one) and are long enough to reach his shoulders.  
_

 _Oh, and let's not forget the color of his eyes... The Color of the emeralds, green!_

 _For such perfection to leave our world... Such a waste... But still, who can understand death's choices?_

 _Yes, he died in such a horrible way, yet, he deserved much more than that..._

 _Now then..._

 ** _"I welcome you to the afterlife."_**

 _He's now barely opening his eyes... Ahhh... It's like seeing a baby spelling his first words..._

 _Still... I'm so sorry for him..._

 ** _"Wher... Where..."_** _he barely spoke, with his eyebrows slowly going up and down..._

 _I stood up, to see if he could at least raise his head and direct his eyes towards me..._

 _I slowly walked towards him, with my mouth starting to pronounce the following words:_

 ** _"I'm Eris. The Goddess that will lead you to a new path."_**

 _Ahh... I can see him finally ready to pronounce his words...  
_

 ** _"How did I died."_**

 _I gently closed my eyes, to take a breath and start talking._

 ** _"With the massive amount of mints you were eating and the room filled with cold air, it was obvious that at some point, your body would have started-"_**

 ** _"What's next then?"_** _he quickly asked to me._

 _He's going straight to the point?_

 _Oh well, I'll do as he desires._

 ** _"As you desire. Instead of normally going towards heaven, I am now offering you to be reborn on a very gorgeous world, where-"_**

 ** _"Yes, yes interesting. Please do make the explanation short."_** _he asked. Without noticing that he interrupted me..._

 _I sighed and went back to my chair._

 ** _"You'll be reborn on a parallel world, there you've got to slain the Demon King. And when you accomplished that, we will fulfill every wish you desire as a reward. I hope that you understand-"_**

 ** _"Okay. Then I choose the parallel world."_** _he said while interrupting me once again._ ** _  
_**

 ** _"Then, before you go, I'll make you choose any equipment, ability that is second to none!"_**

 ** _"How about a small box which contain an infinite amount of mints that are capable to appease my hunger and thirst."_** _he re_ _quested..._ _  
_

 ** _"Such a request... can be granted!"_**

 _Such a request... such a waste... why would he choose such a thing... One cannot simply understand someone else's desires...  
_

 _Now, the only thing I need to do is to stand up... and teleport him into his new home..._

 ** _"Please, make this fast. I'm in a hurry."_**

 _Aww... I so wanted to do a cool teleporting scene..._

 _Well, that's once more his request, so it'll be granted!_

 _And with a simple finger snap, he disappeared..._

* * *

 ** _"(Is she gone? Ahhh! Great! Now I can go on and eat this for the rest of my life!)"  
_**

 ** _"(Wait, let's first pick it up from shorts's pocket...)"_**

 ** _"Tap, tap! Tap, tap!"  
_**

 ** _"(Oh? Looks like I touched something!)"_**

 ** _"(Let's see what it is!)"_**

 ** _"Ahaha! As I suspected! My pocket pantry of mints that can from now on, make my mouth fresh forever!"_** _He said, while constantly moaning..._

 _No... It was futile to hope that he would at least act as a normal person there..._

* * *

 _Mh... Better if I don't use it now...  
_

 _So... I've been teleported into a new world._

 _People are now looking at me, like if they were seeing a bug._

 _Now... Where should I go... Where should I go..._

* * *

 ** _The end, of a short chapter.  
_**


	2. He's A Trap!

**_Chapter 1: The Path Of A Neo-Ice-Arch Wizard.  
_**

 ** _Part 1: In Search For A Job._**

After being reborn, our boy was not amused at his new world, neither he was happy to be inside a real-life role-playing game.

But the only thing he was worried, was about... " ** _Money!"._**

Yes, in his past life he had the fortune to live a life with the help of his rich parents.

Now that he is alone, he ran everywhere, hoping that he'll find someone who will at least give him a job, so that he could gain enough money to buy at least, a house...

Since the blood of his lucky parents is still flowing inside his veins, he was lucky enough to quickly find his first job...

 _ **"Young lady!"** _ Our Jin, who knew he has been mistook for a girl due to his clothing, hair and slim body, turned his back just to see a tall muscular man who was wearing a breastplate made of iron, knee pants and long boots.

We could say that the man's beauty level could be in the average, thanks to his brown beard covering both his chin and mouth.

With the knowledge of his beard being brown, you could easily think that he has brown hair, right?

Unfortunately, he his... bald...

Being shocked of what his eyes saw, made his throat uncapable of letting his normal voice go out, instead a high-pitched voice came out... _**"Ye...sss?!"**_ he sounded like an hamster...

 ** _"People said that there was a girl running around asking for a job, that's you, right?"_**

But before he replied the man's question, words were bouncing inside his mind: _ **"(Calm down Jin, he's simply another fool who cannot figure your real gender...)"**_

And thus, his reply was finally arrived, a simple nod was needed to avoid the use of his voice.

The man was laughing very hard at his reply and shouted: " _ **Then, what are you waiting for? Follow me! I've got a job for you!".**_

With him finally happy for having his first job on this new world, there was sadly, someone unhappy for him having his first job.

This person was stalking Jin after seeing him running around asking for a job, maybe he/she didn't had the time to lend him a job, and now that Jin got one, he/she was too late for that...

 _ **"I let my opportunity to fade away, but I won't give up!"**_

* * *

" _ **Here we are!"**_ Still shouted the man.

Thanks for the man's shouting, someone came out from the small building Jin was staring at... A **"Magic Item Shop".**

 _ **"H-Hello- W-Waahh!"**_ The person who came out, was a busty lady that was wearing a purple dress with a dark robe over it. Sadly she didn't had the time to finish her sentence, due to her accidentally tripping at what it seems... a bottle... cointaining a mysterious fluid.

Jin didn't know how to act and when he tried to look for the muscular man, he realized, that he already left without even saying "Bye!".

Wielding poor knowledge on how to interact with people in danger, Jin only pronounced the following words: " _ **Are you okay?"**_ he simply stood there, without even lending a hand for her...

The results? The lady tried to stand up with her own strength, and luckily, she managed to do it.

 _ **"Uhm... Are you here for the job?"**_ the lady asked, while patting her robe just to clean it from the dust it was covered with.

The answer, was a simple nod.

She then was smiling happily, and finally started to introduce herself.

 _ **"I'm sorry if I didn't introduce myself before, I'm Wiz, the owner of the shop behind me. If you want you can come inside."**_ Jin accepted the request and walked towards the shop's entrance, just to find to be surrounded by items... potions... and items!

Soon his mind experienced a weak mind-blow, for seeing some unknown liquid his eyes have never saw, items that he has never seen.

Then, after putting his mind all together, he made the choice to toss away the "act", and let her hear, the "truth".

 _ **"So... What am I supposed to do?"** _ As the lady called Wiz, heard such a masculine voice, she slowly rubbed her eyes, made her face close at Jin's face to analyze better his face and body as good as she can.

Jin knew such a reaction could have happened, and let her analyze as much as she wants.

* * *

The analyzation finished, Wiz was still surprised, but that always happens, when a trap is in front of you .

The owner of the shop gave to him a smile, making Jin believe that she accepted the truth.

He was still standing there, waiting for her to say anything, like: "What's your name?", "How old are you?" and "What's your real gender?".

None of those questions came out from Wiz's mouth, the only thing that came out was: " _ **This Job is all about cleaning the store. And the salary will be and stay at 10,000 Iris every 3 days. Good right?"**_.

Jin nodded with enthusiasm, and was leaving his hands open, waiting for her to give him the equipment.

His eyes were now shining bright filled with happiness and hope.

But Wiz interrupted him, saying " _ **But before that, please go to the Adventurer's Guild to remove the announcement I recently put...".**_

Our Boy happily gave a thumbs up and nodded, he almost reached the door to open it, but then he was interrupted again by Wiz's accidental shouting: " _ **Wait!".**_

He turned his back thinking that Wiz probably forgot something, and she did: " _ **I'm sorry I forgot to ask you something... Do you have... an Adventurer's card?".**_

His eyes started to become wider than ever, and slowly shook his head.

The lady in front of him chuckles, saying that there's no need to be so worried, in the end, she explained what an Adventurer's Card is.

When she finished talking, she gave to Jin 1,000 iris, the same amount to pay the registration fee.

After that, he smiled with happiness and ran towards the door to open it, but before he ran away towards the Adventurer's Guild, he turned his back to Wiz once more and thanked her for letting him have a job.

* * *

After running for some minutes, fatigue was the only thing Jin was thinking. Today he ran too much and needs to rest a little, luckily he stopped near a fountain.

He walked towards it, put his hands inside it, making his hand wet, and soaked his face with the fountain's water, still, he didn't drank it.

Feeling refreshed he continue running, until he found himself in front of a giant castle.

While smirking at the sight he's admiring, he was talking to himself: _**"(Maybe this is the Adventurer's Guild, I mean, it's a giant castle! How can't this be it!?)" .**_

Walking slowly, the boy found himself surrounded by what it seemed, adventurers.

 _ **"Yo! Watcha doin' on a place like this, ya lil' pretty thang?"**_ Sadly, minutes couldn't have passed normally, but it appears that someone already mistook Yuhi, as a girl.

He ignored him, and tried to search the place to pay the registration fee.

While the man was yelling at him, Jin found a woman, who appears to be a waitress of the Guild.

The waitress, by looking at Jin's sudden worried face, knew what she has to ask, and spoke eloquently: _**"Greetings! Are you here for the Adventurer's Card? If so, take my hand, I'll take you right where you need to pay the registration fee."**_

The boy, nodded happily in response and took the waitress hand.

While walking, he somehow sensed something wrong in this place... And it's probably because the people inside of it has their eyes locked to Jin, how unfortunate.

* * *

But some of those people were also arguing about him:

 _ **"Hey, Aqua. Look over there. "**_ spoke an individual wearing a green tracksuit.

 _ **"Kazuma, do you think that that girl would fit with us?"**_ spoke a female individual.

 _ **"Even if we wanted to, it's too late. Look how many people are looking at her."**_ stated the male individual wearing a green tracksuit.

 _ **"Aww c'mon! Will there ever be someone who's going to join our newly born party?!"**_ shouted the female individual, with this shouting she got the attention of everyone. Even of Jin's.

But it appears that he's taking this opportunity to quickly pay the registration fee, since he already arrived there seconds ago.

 _ **"Thank you. Now, may you please give your hand to me?"**_

He nodded, and didn't gave attention at what the lady was doing, since his eyes were captured by what was happening after the girl's shout.

Feeling sad for the boy close to that girl, he saw that the girl was trying to lift the table, and she succeded, somehow, but some waitresses quickly came, and tried to relax the girl.

They managed to do that, but the boy close to that girl was laughing.

Suddenly the lady screamed, causing Jin to make a jumpscare and scream a little...

Everyone went back looking at Jin again, making him feel something strange yet again.

Was she surprised about Jin Yuhi's gender?

Or maybe there was something else?

 _ **"Not only you surprised me with your gender... But your stats... 582 Luck, 31 Agility, 132 Magic-POW! And if we dig deeper... Your mental resistance is pretty high! Still... your strength, health and physical resistance are the lowest ones... But your 26 dexterity saves it... at least..."**_ explained the lady.

Jin smiling grabbed the card, unknown on how it was forged since his eyes were looking something else.

He checked if what the lady said was true by giving a glance to it.

 _ **"2 Health... 2 strength..."**_

Yuhi started to whisper meaningless words to himself... some were words talking about the decision he made of not training his body and how useless he can be without enough strength and health...

The lady asked if he would have become an arch wizard.

He accepted it...

By accepting it, everyone stood up, clapping to him for choosing the archmage class.

He blushed a little, but couldn't do anything but just stand there and absorb the smiles of the people looking at him.

After a while, everyone eventually stopped and went back at talking at each other and also for some reason throwing food at each other.

* * *

Yuhi saw that he has for now 3 skill point to use, but the skills he could for now choose required much more than 1 skill point, for now the only ones he could have are "Create Ice" and "Cold Item" a passive skill that adds a bonus effect to "Create Ice", which can turn into ice the item he holds in his hands. Only Items.

Since he's madly in love with everything that is cold he happily spent his 2 skill points for it, but the thought of having such a weak strength, made his sadness return once again.

By holding his card with tears made of regrets, he walked towards the exit of the building with his eyes looking at the ground...

 ** _"Stop right there!"_** said someone, who is standing right in front of him.

It was a small girl, with a grin on her face.

She was wearing a witch's classic attire, a black cloak, fingerless gloves, the classic pointy hat and a black staff.

 _ **"My eyes has enlighten me the knowledge that you, are a new fellow arch wizard!"**_ said the girl, blabbering eloquently some words to him.

He nodded at what she stated.

And she continued her little speech:

 ** _"Would you like to accept my offer of inviting you as my comrade?"_** _asked the girl, with her chuckling at the end._

The boy, who forgot about what happened a few minutes ago, asked the question that everyone would have done, when facing a strange person: _**"Uhm... But... Who are you?"**_ Obviously, masking his normal masculine voice hidden with a well-executed high pitched voice... Similar to a hamster... But at least he managed to confuse her.

The girl smiled at the question and proceeded at answering it while standing... on a very weird position... _**"Glad you asked! The name of the one standing in front of you, is Megumin! The powerful magician that gave you the chance to become my ally!"**_

 _ **"(A powerful magician... = Every foe defeated = No trouble = Easy life! Yes, I've gotta accept it!)"**_ said Yuhi's logic.

He proudly gave a thumbs up and in the same time, nodded.

This Megumin also whispered something to him: **_"You know... There's no need to act like a male... From now on, you can be a female once again!"_**

But Yuhi, wasn't happy to hear that _..._


	3. The Marathon

**_Chapter 1: The Path Of A Neo-Ice-Arch Wizard_**

 ** _Part 2: Running Away  
_**

Unhappy on what Megumin said, Yuhi prepared himself to show his true face and true personality.

His eyes began to become emotionless...

 ** _"So... Are we supposed to take a quest or something?"_** suddenly asked the boy, without even trying to hide his masculinity. ** _  
_**

The way Jin Yuhi pronounced such sentence, with a masculine voice that still sounded a bit girlish... Made Megumin stay shocked for a little bit.

By coming back into reality, Meguming replied: _**"On second thought... Maybe you shouldn't..."**_

The boy raised an eyebrow, surprised to hear her such words, asked another question: _**"Why? Were you expecting that I was a girl? Too bad! I'm a man!"**_ shouted the boy, declaring to everyone his real gender.

Everyone's eyes began to become wider and wider and their jaws began to drop.

Megumin said in exchange: _**"Ah, no... it's not that. But still, I'm surprised about your real gender... it's that... I recently joined a party..."**_

The boy smiled and tried to foresee what she was going to say: _**"So... you instantly felt bad when you realized what you were doing?"**_

The girl nodded and replied: _**"B-But as an excuse... I the Archwizard Megumin! Shall assist you whenever you need me! And so will my comrades!"**_

Jin then smirked and waved at her, walking towards the lady to ask something to her, to remove Wiz's announcement.

* * *

Everything in the end was finally completed.

He got his Adventurer's Card and removed the announcement that Wiz has recently put in The Guild.

The only thing he now has to do was to finally start his job by coming back to Wiz.

Until someone stopped him...

 _ **"Y-You!"**_

Jin, by hearing such feminime words, turned his back only to encounter... a female copy of himself.

They both had the same height, so it was easy for Jin to have a jumpscare obtained by suddenly seeing a girl with an outfit... that really catches the eye of every horny man.

 _ **"I wanted to ask you something before... But you quickly ran away with that huge guy... U-Uhm... Would you like to be an employee of the Succubi?" **_Asked the girl.

Yuhi panted, and looked directly into the girl's eyes: _**"Listen. I'm sorry. But I'm a boy and I'm already working somewhere else."**_

The girl shook her head only to counter with: _**"B-But that's exactly what we wanted, a TRAP working with us!"**_

He became petrified at what he heard.

He turned his back, only to begin to ignore the Succubus, because judging by the name of the place she's working at, she probably must be a Succubus, and thus, he began to run away from her.

The girl was left behind, and felt sad because of her not being able to recruit a trap... The only thing they were lacking...

* * *

The boy ran, and ran, and ran... Until he bumped into someone.

The person was enough resistant to not fall and said: _**"Hey! Don't run while you're not looking! You might hurt yourself by bumping into a wall!"**_

The person lent him a hand, but when he tried to looked at who this person is, it was a girl.

 _ **"Eh... Maybe I should try it..."**_ whispered the girl... blushing... enjoying the thought she's having...

With that, the boy quickly stood up and ran away as fast as he could. He only wanted to go back to Wiz and do his work, not to encounter bizzare people!

* * *

After doing a marathon he finally reached Wiz's Magic Item Shop.

Where only a broom and a letter was waiting for him.

He took the letter to open and read what was inside.

 _ **"Uhm... Sorry, I still didn't get to know your name... But it appears that I won't be able to assist you in your job, so... Even if we just met, would you be so kind to clean the store some time? Oh! And take these 100,000 Iris you can find behind the paper you're right now reading... I'm sorry! But I have some hard tasks to complete right now! - Wiz"**_

The boy wasn't happy.

How is he supposed to live without a job?

But then, only now he remembered that in any RPG there's always a place where he could take quests and gain some good rewards from them.

He still didn't wished to live his life through fighting and fighting and fighting, he only wants to relax...

Thinking about fighting... He remembered his quest to defeat the Demon King... But how he was supposed to defeat the Demon King with only mints?

Then Megumin's help came into his mind... Maybe she and her companion would help him through his first quest?

But will he be able to handle it?

Frustrated the boy sat on the ground, close to the walls of the Magic Item Shop.

And to regain his cool, he ate some of his mints...

With them making his mouth fresh and cool and idea sparked in his mind...

 _ **"Wait... Mints! Of course! I took the passive to transform every item into ice with the skill "Create Ice!" With this... Maybe I might have a chance to survive in this world!"**_

Yet still, even if his eyes were sparkling, they weren't the only thing sparkling.

His "passion" towards the cold stuff has driven him once again insane, dropping way too many mints into the ground.

After that he claimed once again the control of his body: _**"This is a delicate operation, I must enjoy this later."**_

He took the dropped mints one by one, only to make them group themself and form a sword...

 _ **"Now... Since this'll be created out of magic... Will this mean that the strength of this sword will be as strong as my "Magic-POW!"?"**_

His theory has to be tested, and so, since the sword was positioned horizontally, he casted the spell, and moved his hand horizontally.

The Experiment was a success, but in reality it wasn't a sword, it didn't even have the shape of a sword, so it was simply a Cross upside-down.

He wasn't satisfied, and since he was sitting on the ground, he quickly found a rock to use.

With the Cross now having the shape of a sword the problem left, is that it is way too cold to hold, and everytime he's holding it, it felt like his hand was becoming ice too.

Obviously the only thing he would feel right now is pleasure, since he's a huge maniac of ice.

But he has to be serious about this, so, even if he's in public, he ripped a part of his Sleeveless T-Shirt just to use it to cover the handle of the Ice Sword.

Now he can hold it without his desires taking control of his body and also now revealing his belly button.

* * *

Unfortunately he cannot travel with such a revealing clothing.

Even if forced, the boy went inside a Clothing Shop for women.

He knows what he's doing and he's only searching for a replacement for his Sleeveless T-Shirt.

For now what he quickly bought was a simple blue scarf used to be wrapped on his body to cover his belly button.

Also a pointy wizard hat with a convenient aligning of cubes of ice on the edges that would help him hide his face from the succubuses.

Although he tried to not catch the attention of the girls there, he catched the attention of one particular girl right when he reached the exit.

This particular girl was wearing a very revealing combination of clothing: Short pants, a light leather armor that was only covering her chest, a blue scarf and what it seemed to be, a poncho that was only covering her back and her shoulders.

It's somewhat similar to Jin Yuhi's slightly revealing combination of clothing, the only difference is that he's using the scarf to cover his belly button.

 _ **"Hello, may I ask you a question? What's that sword of yours made of?"**_

 ** _"Oh, this? This is made of ice."_** he replied.

But right in this moment he noticed one thing. His voice is also somewhat feminime. This made him much more depressed inside.

The girl was surprised to hear what it was made of and so asked another question: _**"Mmhh... Will it be able to cut something? Oh! Here! Try it with this skirt of mine!"**_

 _ **"(What.)"**_

 ** _"By the way, I'm Chris. Come on! I would like to see how efficient a sword made of ice is!"_** _ **  
**_

 ** _"Jin Yuhi is my name, may I know the reason for such a request?"_** replied Yuhi

Her smile began to fade away, and she slowly moved her mouth: _**"Something very bad and embarassing happened to me recently... Please... Destroy this bad memory of mine..."**_

The boy understood what she felt and replied with a nod.

And so... the girl dramatically threw the skirt into the hair.

Yuhi grabbed his sword that was literally on his back. It was being held by his t-shirt and his pants.

He launched a strike that cut in half the skirt.

With that, Chris has finally found her inner peace.

And Yuhi ran away, without saying goodbye.


End file.
